Dave the Dealer
So Im sure your first question is “What kind of dealer was he? Cars, drugs?”
To be honest I’m still not even sure! He was super shady about what exactly he did for a living but he seemed to love throwing money around.
To read the whole story of how I got started posting online dating fails, check out this post, “Derek the Dentist”.
So how did I meet this budding entrepreneur who worked from home with a flexible schedule (see why I thought he might be a drug dealer?). I met him online of course!
Dave was a good looking guy who said he was a Christian and had a job. At that point in my dating journey I would’ve just been happy to meet someone who was a Christian. The fact that he had a job was just an unexpected bonus.
We messaged for a while and things unfolded pretty normally. Of course I also Facebook stalked him a little, like any sensible girl would! On his Facebook I discovered he had a huge house, a boat and a new Camaro.
After a couple weeks of chatting we had a date set up. He invited me to go the a Cincinnati Reds game with him. Initially he wanted to meet me and drive down to the game together.
Now, I have a strict, always drive myself rule for first dates. Not going to lie though, I seriously considered breaking my rule for this guy! I really wanted to ride in his new Camaro! However, after taking a poll in my group text of girlfriends, I decided to just meet him at the stadium.
Can we just have a moment to appreciate the girl friend group text? Seriously, how many emergencies have been solved after shooting off a message to the group chat! From which shoes to buy, to what to text that guy you’re talking to! Someone in the group usually has the answer!
Anyways, moving on with the story.
I got to the stadium and spotted him waiting outside for me. I’m always super nervous on first dates that I won’t be able to spot the person I’m supposed to be meeting! Some people in real life look nothing like their pictures! The bigger the crowd, the more nervous I am that I’ll walk up to the wrong guy! I’m also always concerned that the guy I’m meeting won’t recognize me! I’ve only had a few guys say that I didn’t look like my pictures so I guess that’s good? It’s a tough balance to find profile pictures where you look good, but not so good that you don’t look like that in real life!
We walked into the game and started going to our seats. He had bought the tickets online so I had no clue where we were sitting. When I buy tickets to an event, I’m always trying to find tickets that are reasonably priced! I’m that person that buys tickets that are cheap because the view is obstructed, or because the seats are so far away and high up that you get vertigo. I’m all about finding a bargain!
So you can imagine my surprise when we didn’t start heading for the nosebleed section, but down towards home plate. We sat about 4 rows back right behind home plate. I immediately began wondering how much these tickets had cost! We even had a waitress taking our order so we didn’t have to get up to get food and snacks! I didn’t have to wonder long about how much the tickets had cost as he took pride in telling me how much he had spent.
We chatted for a bit before the game and it became clear that we didn’t have a ton in common and that he was Christian in name only. He didn’t seem to have much interest or involvement in church and all he seemed to want to talk about was money and all the people he knew. He definitely was one of those guys who seems to know everyone. His buddy knew some of the players on the team, one of his old high school friends worked in advertising for the team, he knew a guy who used to play. It just seemed to go on and on!
He told me that he would’ve bought tickets in the first row, but he thought we should save that for like our third date and get a nice hotel room downtown and make a whole weekend out of it. So many things wrong with that statement right off the bat (see my funny baseball pun!)! I thought it was a bit braggy of him to act like spending over $150 per ticket to watch baseball was no big deal, and a lot presumptuous to assume I’d spend the weekend with him on a third date.
Throughout the date he continued to tell me about all of the fancy restaurants we could go to and all of the exciting trips he wanted to take. Not going to lie, I was intrigued.
Whenever I watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette and see them going on all these lavish dates, shopping sprees at designer stores, helicopter rides over the Caribbean or taking out their own personal yacht, I always think, “I’d probably fall in love with anyone if all we did was stuff like that!” Dave definitely seemed to be offering this Bachelor style of dates.
That’s when I asked him again what he did for a living. He totally avoided the question and joked that his neighbors probably think he’s a drug dealer or something. Not a good thing to joke about on a first date! After some pressing he told me he worked in sales. I really don’t have any idea why he was so hesitant to tell me what he did for a living! He had no problem telling me how much money he made and how he liked to spend it!
Even though we didn’t have much in common and his faith wasn’t as important to him as I would’ve liked, I was still interested. The materialistic side of me was totally taking over! All I could think about was all of the fabulous place we could go and fancy things we would do!
God had a better plan though. Dave and I texted for a day or two after the date and then I never heard from him again. I think God graciously took him out of my life so I wouldn’t be tempted to continue going out with him just because we were going on all kinds of fancy dates. Sometimes rejection is God’s form of protection. Even though it may not feel like it at the time and we may not ever understand the reasons why, trust that God is working all things together for your good! Often times people are taken out of our lives so God can guide us in another direction. I think that this happens often in the world of dating. The key is to trust God and not frantically try to pull people back into our lives who have clearly don’t want to be there.
I stumbled across Dave a few years later on one of the online dating sites and he had updated his profile to include that he was looking specifically for someone who was born female….so I bet he has a few online dating fails of his own that he could share.