Is Social Media Making Your Breakup Harder Than It Has To Be?
Is social media making your breakup worse?
Yes! The answer is yes!
Let’s face it, breakups are tough. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for weeks or years, or if it was just the start of a possible relationship, it’s always rough when someone walks out of your life.
Unfortunately, social media can make things even worse than they already are.
I mean, the whole point of social media is to keep you connected to people at all times. It’s great when you want to keep up with friends who you haven’t seen in years or family who live out of town, but it gets tough when you’re trying to move on and people keep popping back into your life via social media. So what’s a girl to do?
Do your best to focus on the present.
Social media combined with texting makes it so easy to focus on what did happen rather than what is actually happening right now. You can go back and dig up old photos and conversations at any time. Not only does this distract you from your real life, it can also cause you to dwell on what might have been and build up possibilities in your head.
Don’t be afraid to unfollow, unfriend and block people! I know it always seems so dramatic and final to unfollow or block someone, but sometimes it’s really what’s best.
It’s so simple, yet so difficult! Seriously, it’s one simple click, but somehow one click never seemed so difficult.
If you really don’t want to unfollow your ex, or that guy that ghosted you, take some time to figure out why you’re so opposed to it.
Usually, it’s a selfish reason. You want him to see pictures of you having fun without him, or going out with a new guy, or you want to be able to check on him and make sure he’s miserable without you.
I’ve totally been there.
A few years ago I stopped talking to a guy who had treated me horribly. I didn’t really want to get back with him, but I had the hardest time unfollowing him on social media. When I really stopped to think about why, I realized that I still wanted validation from him. I wanted him to like my pictures, and see what I was up to. I didn’t want to get back together with him, but I wanted him to want me back, I wanted him to be sorry he’d been so terrible to me.
Seriously, how does our thinking get so twisted so fast!? I had to take a step back and realize that I all the reasons I wanted to remain connected to him were totally selfish. I also had to realize that he probably never was going to give me the closure I was after. He wasn’t going to see me on Facebook and realize how much he had hurt me or be inspired to apologize. Even after I came to this realization, I had a really hard time actually unfollowing him.
One night when I was at work I was checking Facebook and saw a post from Lysa TerKerust. The post said, “Instead of wallowing in our weak places tonight, let’s allow the Spirit to reveal the on positive step we can take right now.”
When I read that, I immediately thought, “Well, I’m at work, there’s nothing I can do right now.” Then I felt God telling me to unfollow this particular guy on social media. The thought came to me so clearly, and I knew it had to be from God.
So reluctantly, I unfriended this guy.
It was seriously the best thing I ever did.
If you are trying to get over someone or move past a broken relationship, it’s hard to move on if the guy who hurt you is constantly popping up on your newsfeed. Even though it seems difficult, you will not regret unfollowing, unfriending or blocking a guy who no longer wants to be in your life. It gives you space to breathe and think. You can’t really process your feelings and emotions if you are constantly pulled back into thinking about the past.
A guy who chose to walk out of your life probably won’t ever give you the closure that you seek, creating some space allows you to start moving on even without the closure you wanted.
I know it feels scary and final, but I would encourage you to step out in faith and take steps to keep yourself from dwelling on things from the past.
Reliving past relationships isn’t really helpful or profitable. Usually it’s just painful. Be kind to yourself, unfollow people who aren’t giving you life, and are causing you pain. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak or unable to deal with life, sometimes it just means you’re wise. That you’re choosing to focus your time and attention on the present rather than the past.
Don’t let the constant pull of social media steal your joy!