Mike with the Mini

Mike with the Mini

Another story of me attempting to navigate the bizarre world of online dating… and failing:

I’ve changed the names to protect the innocent, or not so innocent! I have a habit of saving guys names in my phone with their first name (since I sometimes don’t know their last name) and some fact about them. This helps me keep them straight if I’m talking to more than one person, which let’s be honest, isn’t usually a problem.  When I first started doing this I met several guys whose name and job started with the same letter (Carl the Coach, Adam the Audiologist) so I’ve just kept the alliteration trend going!

We’ll call this next guy Mike with the Mini.

Online Dating fail

I went out with Mike about a year ago. It was one of those dreary spring days where it had rained on and off all day. It was starting to get cloudy when I was driving to meet him but I didn’t really think much of it.

When I walked in he introduced himself and said it was nice to meet me, all the usual stuff, but immediately after that he told me that he had wanted to cancel our date. 

Now, I don’t hide my emotions well, really at all. I’m pretty sure I must have immediately given him a look that made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t impressed by him starting the date off by telling me he didn’t want to come.

He quickly began backtracking and trying to tell me that it wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet me it was because of the weather. I asked him why he was so worried about it, since I thought it was just supposed to be a little rainy.

He told me that he was worried about his car getting messed up.  He said he had just gotten the car and that it was his dream car and he didn’t want anything to happen to it. Again, I must’ve had an annoyed look on my face because he immediately said that he knew I probably thought he was crazy. I tried to make him feeling better by assuring him I understood. I’m more into cars than most girls and my dad has a classic Camaro that he won’t drive in the snow, rain, cold or extreme heat, so I completely understand how guys get about their cars.

When I say I’m into cars, I only mean that I can intelligently talk about cars for approximately 5 minutes longer than your average girl. So I can talk about cars intelligently for about 6 minutes. But still, when he said he didn’t want his car out in the rain I immediately wondered if he drove something cool, like a Mustang or a Challenger, or maybe something insanely cool like a Corvette. I immediately started thinking how cute we would look driving around town in his fancy sports car. Not going to lie, if he had had a new Corvette, we probably would’ve had to go out on however many dates it took for me to take a ride in his car.

When I asked what he drove he told me- brace yourself- he drove a Mini Cooper. This was the dream car. After that he proceeded to tell me how long he had wanted a Mini for and how he was so glad that he wasn’t driving his Honda Accord anymore. I was tempted to tell him that going from an Accord to a Mini was a lateral move at best. However, I just bit my tongue and listened to him continue telling me about how much he loved his car. It soon became clear he was more interested in his car than he was in most people. I started feeling like I was on a date with an unavailable man as he was clearly in a serious romantic relationship with his Mini Cooper. If it had at least been a cooler car I might have been able to be more understanding. 

Not that I have anything in particular against Mini Coopers, it’s just a car I feel  like a 16 year old girl should be driving. This is probably because I was a 16 year old girl when The Italian Job came out and I basically thought a Mini Cooper would be the best car ever.  I could just picture myself zipping all over town, squealing into tiny parking spaces and just looking adorable driving a Mini. I basically thought I could become as cool as Charlize Theron if only I had a Mini Cooper.

 It legitimately never dawned on me that a grown man might also be chasing that same dream.  

So long story short, if I’d met him when I was 16 the whole story might have ended up differently. We’d probably be married by now cramming our little family into a Mini Cooper.  I think that he could sense my lack of enthusiasm about his dream car because I literally never heard from him again, but hey, you win some you lose some!

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Savvy Sister

Savvy Sister