Derek the Dentist
One of the best things about having a group of single friends is comparing dating stories! It’s reassuring to know that you are not the only one who seems to always end up on dates that are odd, awkward, hilarious and leave you wondering what in the world just happened! I’ve had my fair share of dating faux pas, and I’d love to share some of them with you just so you know you’re not the only alone in this confusing, bizarre world of online dating.
First up, Derek the Dentist. Yes, I’ve changed the names to protect the innocent, or not so innocent! I have a habit of saving guys names in my phone with their first name (since I sometimes don’t know their last name) and some fact about them. This helps me keep them straight if I’m talking to more than one person, which let’s be honest, isn’t usually a problem. When I first started doing this I met several guys whose name and job started with the same letter (Aaron Airforce, Carl the Coach, Adam the Audiologist) so I’ve just kept the alliteration trend going!
So Derek the Dentist, we started talking on Christian Mingle. He was a Christian, seemed relatively normal, didn’t have kids, had a college degree and a job. If you are not currently using any online dating apps, this may not seem like a big deal, but let me tell you finding a guy who is all of those things is like finding a unicorn. Not going to lie, part of why I was so excited to talk to him was the fact that I had quite a bit of dental work that needed done (any others out there who cannot get their act together enough to floss daily??) and thought he’d probably give me a discount. We emailed for a bit and eventually stared texting each other. We talked about all the normal stuff, family, jobs, and favorite hobbies. Little tangent here, who else feels super boring when guys ask what your hobbies are? I swear I have interests and do things in my spare time, but when a guy I’m talking to asks me about it I suddenly can’t think of a single interest that I have or thing I like to do!
Anyway, it was like a week before Christmas when we started texting, so we knew we wouldn’t be able to get together for a while because we both had plans with family. I really thought things were moving along fine though. We kept texting and tentatively planned to meet up sometime after New Years. One night we were having a conversation about what our churches were like, and after the conversation ended I never heard from him again. I did the typical, send him a few “Hey, what’s up” texts, but he never responded.
After not hearing from him for 6 weeks he texted me on Valentines Day, at 10 o’clock at night. His big opening line after ignoring me for a month and a half was “Hey, it’s Derek, I thought I lost your number.”
Now you guys tell me! What on earth is that supposed to mean? How does a person think they lost someone’s number and then magically find it again? I have no clue! Like did you lose your phone? Lose all your contacts? I mean I’ll give him points for originality, as I haven’t heard this particular lame excuse before, but it blows my mind that grown adults can’t just be honest. While I obviously don’t know for sure, I would bet that he was talking to someone else who he felt a better connection with and it didn’t work out so he thought he’d see what I was up to.
I guess if there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s to just be honest. I always hope that if a guy isn’t interested in me that they would just say that instead of ignoring my texts with no explanation. However, I find myself not wanting to extend the same courtesy to guys. It always seems easier to just hope they stop texting you. Let’s not forget John 6:31, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” This is so important to remember when online dating. It’s easy to forget that there are real people behind the messages, people who have feelings and are owed honesty and respect. You don’t have to talk to everyone or engage if a guy’s messages are making you uncomfortable, but be considerate. Don’t let the strange online dating world make you into an inconsiderate or dishonest person.