How Can I Be Thankful for My Singleness?
Six things I’ve learned to love about this season.
Five years ago I couldn’t have imagined saying I was thankful for my singleness. Even one year ago I couldn’t have imagined writing this post. I honestly didn’t think that I could ever be grateful for my singleness. All I could focus on was the pain and the loneliness. Today I can say this prolonged season of singleness has been one of God’s greatest blessings on my life. Let me tell you why.
1. It allowed me to see how God can take something I DREAD and FEAR and use it for GOOD.
I can be thankful today, not because I’m so spiritually mature, but because God is so loving and so good. He has changed my heart in ways I cannot describe and allowed me to see the beauty and loveliness of His work in my life. God has shown me that his ways are higher than my ways. I used to find this hard to believe because I had some pretty great plans, but God’s ways have always proven better. Extended singleness was definitely not my plan, but it has been a huge unexpected blessing and has led to so many great things in my life that I never could have planned for.
2. It allowed me to spend time with FAMILY.
If life had gone my way, and I had gotten married when I was 21, my relationship with my family would not be what it is today. I have gotten closer with my parents than I ever could have imagined. Not in a weird, my mom is my best friend and I live at home kind of way, but we have developed a mutual respect for each other. I’ve learned about finances, and taxes, cooking and housekeeping from them, but they are also learning from me. They got married when they were 21 and 22 so the single life I’m living is one they know nothing about. I thank God for parents who are willing to learn from me even as I continue to learn from them.
3. It allowed me to be AVAILABLE for people.
When you are married with children, or even just in a serious relationship, you’re time is not your own. Since I’ve been single, I’ve had the ability to jump into action when people needed me. My grandmother was recently very ill, and it was a true blessing to be able to drop everything and travel to see her without worrying about inconveniencing anyone else. I didn’t have to arrange childcare, or check to see what my husband was doing, I packed a bag and went to see my family, that’s where I needed to be. I’ve been able to drive and meet friends at the drop of a hat, and be available when family members were going through difficult season.
4. It allowed me to know my TRUE IDENTITY.
I think if I had gotten married at 21 my entire identity would be wrapped up in being wife and a mother, rather than a child of God. While being a wife and a mother are important roles, you cannot base your life on them. Marriages crumble, and mothering gets difficult and discouraging. If you have no worth, or identity outside of these roles, it’s difficult to cope when things don’t go as planned. Being single for so long has forced me to find my worth in God. I’ve had to learn all that I am is because of Him. That he is my true source of strength, hope, life and self worth. I think if I had gotten married at 21 I would have tried to find those things in my husband rather than my God.
5. It allowed me to have a lot of FUN!
While it wasn’t what I planned, and I don’t know how much longer it will last, I know I will always remember my singleness with a smile. I got to travel, go on girls trips, go on cruises, travel to Europe, send money on whatever I wanted, not do dishes for a week if I didn’t want to, basically I got to do whatever I wanted to! It truly has been great! I’ve had amazing times with family and friends and I’ve gotten to experience freedom to live my life however I want to! I have so many amazing memories, from meeting new friends on a trip to Europe, to the worst hike ever while on a camping trip with my girlfriends. I truly treasure all of these memories and none of these things would’ve happened if I hadn’t been single for so long.
6. It allowed me to be THANKFUL.
Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve rather been at home rocking a baby than walking the Vegas strip with my girlfriends, but being single taught me to enjoy where God has me now. It’s easy to get into the habit of always reaching for the next season of life. When you’re single it seems like if you could just get married you’d be happy, but that is a lie. There will always be something else you are striving for. A new house, a baby, another baby, for your kids to start school, then for them to graduate from school. Learning to be thankful for your current season and being content will serve you for your entire life.
I hope all you ladies are having a wonderful day full of family, friends and turkey! Take some time today to be alone with God and thank him for all the blessings in your life. If singleness doesn’t seem like a blessing right now, ask God to help you see it as a blessing! He will change your outlook!
What other blessings have you gals gained from extended times of singleness? i’d love to hear about it!